If you expect perfection from other people, your whole life is a series of disappointments...

As y’all can see I made it home safe. I had a great time in AZ and I think I’m glad I went, still on the fence about that one. I’m trying my hardest to remind myself what I kept telling Mr. AZ before I left, which was “if nothing else, we will at least have made a new friend.” But I’d be lying if I said that friendship was all I expected out of this trip. I never would have traveled out of state for a “booty call.” I get plenty of sexual attention from men here in town, and if I just wanted to get laid I could have gone to any bar and taken a random dude home. But, like I said I was drawn to Mr. AZ. I saw great potential in him, and was hoping to begin a new chapter in my life. We talked about “what if this weekend is better than great.” And the answer was that I would pick up and move to AZ. As you all know, I’m not scared to jump before looking. I moved to Las Vegas on a whim, and I definitely don’t regret my decision to do so. I believe life is about taking chances, and I also believe that anything worthwhile is going to be a little bit uncomfortable at first. If we lived our lives just sticking to what we were comfortable doing, we wouldn’t be living much at all, would we? Change is good and I embrace it. I couldn’t help but smile when one of my girls said “I hope he sweeps you off your feet.” I hoped for exactly that. I was hesitant to let him pick me up from the airport, because I was trying to play it safe. I didn’t want him to know what hotel I was staying at, just in case he was a super creeper. But, he insisted that he would feel like an asshole if he let me take a cab in a city I had never been. So I gave in, and let him pick me up. I had a stomach full of angry butterflies the whole hour plane ride. But as soon as my plane touched down I somehow felt at ease. I stepped off the plane my price charming was waiting for me with a huge smile on his face and a single rose. Sounds like a cheesy romantic movie, right? He was better than I expected, 6 feet and 4 inches of EXACTLY what I want in a man. YUM!! I was elated with the big tight squeeze he gave me and the level of comfort I felt instantly. There was no awkwardness at all. We didn’t shut up the whole drive to the hotel, which was about 45 minutes away from the airport. I picked a hotel in Downtown Scottsdale because there were all kinds of bars and restaurants within walking distance. I checked in and took a few minutes to freshen up and we walked to a nearby bar and had dinner and drinks and continued the effortless conversation. I had a great time. I don’t think I stopped smiling all night. After a handful of beers paired with shots of Patron the conversation turned to “what made you come out here?” I just repeated all the reasons I had already given him when we originally made the plan. He was very complementary and we agreed that there was just something between us that we felt we needed to explore. That’s when the conversation turned to “I’m glad you came, but I don’t want a long distance relationship.” K Did he really make me travel 300 miles to tell me that? Did he REALLY make me come all that way to AZ just because he thought I’d be an easy lay?? My head was too clouded by the Patron shots to think too far into it. So, I left it at that. I told him that I didn’t necessarily want a long distance thing either, but that I was hoping by the end of t he weekend we would want to see each other again. The night progressed wonderfully, and of course he stayed in the hotel with me. I went to sleep next to him feeling completely secure and content. When I woke up I found myself in kind of a somber mood. What was I doing!? Why was I there?? Why did he lead me to believe that this was more than just a weekend fling??? Or did he?? Maybe that’s only what I wanted to believe?? Thinking back on the tones of the majority of our conversations leading up to me going out there…yep. I answered my own questions. Wow, at that point I felt more than foolish. I knew there was a sexual vibe between us, but I also wanted to believe there was more to it. Silly girl. In my somber mood, I cut off the sexy. We had a great time exploring Phoenix together. He showed me around, and I honestly fell in love with the city…and him. L I still don’t know if there was more to it. It seemed like he may have changed his mind by the end of Sunday. When he took me to the airport he couldn’t let go of me. He sat with me until my plane boarded and he even got a tear in his eye when I turned to give him one last kiss with tears streaming down my face. He didn’t want me to leave any more than I wanted to leave him. But, since I’ve been back things have not felt the same. I don’t know how to ask him “what the fuck??” without actually saying “WHAT THE FUCK!!”  I asked him if I was what he expected and his reply was “I think so. I’m glad you came.” I asked him when he was going to come see me, and he said financially he can’t right now. So, I dropped it. I have changed the tone of our conversations to just friendly. I told him that I don’t like missing someone who is so far out of reach. His reply was “too bad cuz I’m not done with you yet.” WTF?? Just today he asked me if I would come back out there. Of course I said yes. But I’m still not sold on the idea. I think I expect too much out of people. That may just be why I’m 30 and single. I have been on the other end of this relationship far too many times. I’m trying to find signs of how I treat the dudes who get too hung up on me. So far, it feels like the more I pull back, the more he pushes forward. But, if he doesn’t want a long distance relationship, what am I doing?? I’m 30!! I feel like I don’t have time to be wasting, if it’s really going to be just wasted time. I’ve spent 8 years of my adult life in relationships I knew were going nowhere! I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. I want to get married and have 2.5 kids and live happily ever after, like everyone else. I need help with this, guys!!! Please give me some advice! Where do I go with this? I’m honestly CRAZY about this man, but something tells me, I may be the only one. So, do I take him up on his offer, and go back to Phoenix? Or do I stop while I’m ahead before I get hurt?? I’m the one who says life is about taking chances, but I don’t know that I want to put the time and effort into this if it’s just going to be a waste in the long run!
HELP!!! KEven my Horoscope knows my business...